It has been weeks since I’ve touched this page, which is somewhat symptomatic of almost anything I attempt to execute in my adult life. Instead of chastising myself for it though, I’m trying to be reassured that this is all part of accepting a long-term versus short-term strategy. As the thirtieth birthday approaches, only two weeks away, I’m hopeful that the weekly, if not daily, anxious panic of existential crisis can be remembered as a condition of my twenties and a more calm measured approach to my evolution can emerge in the thirties. I’m thinking, for example, curiosity about possibility and connection over the competitive ambition that so often seems to result in exclusion. But I have always been inclined toward or conditioned for panic, so even now, as I throw myself into consciously addressing the issue, I slip.
But I diverge! There have been so many things, somewhat random themes maybe to throw together here, that I have meant to mention at various intervals.
First, feminism! I’m slowing (again long-term, no rush, no pressure) reading Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In, then there was this sad New Yorker article about the death of Shulamith Firestone and others about the death of renegade feminism and questions about reimagining a feminist utopia. I have never been been a radical feminist, but I appreciate the imagining of alternative realities and wondering whether Sandberg’s prescription is an appropriate stepping stone (pebble) towards something very different.
Second, men! Despite the fact that Ladies Night at V Bar in the Village is the best night of every week, and the fact that I was just writing about feminism, I have recently committed to dating aggressively. Which really just means going on dates. I am trying. If you know me and want to set me up, please be in touch. Curiosity, possibility, no pressure.
Third, music! There have been a lot of days lately that I’ve woken up and not felt particularly inspired (or uninspired) and then the discovery of a new song (thanks Spotify Premium!) on the way to work has transformed a sense of disjointed existence into something much more holistic. I will post links separately to my favorites.
Fourth, sister! About a month ago my sister found out she had a large and freakish teratoma on her ovary. Do a Google search, check out some images, but not while you are eating. She had to wait two weeks to have surgery, not knowing with certainty that it was benign and that there wouldn’t be greater complications with greater implications on her future. In the end she had the tumor laparoscopically removed, which is fascinating! Basically sucked out of holes in her abdomen, minimally invasive. She is doing well. But these events always adjust perspective, for the better, I think, without wishing a teratoma on anyone.
Fifth, vice.com. Check out the Mexican Mormon War. The ingenuity of the story concept alone is worth it.
I think there were a few other topics, but now I am forgetting because it’s hard to keep all of this straight in my nearly thirty years old brain. Also, some of them are great business ideas that I want to keep to myself.